[Below is a piece I wrote about 18 months ago during a difficult season. As always, Jesus walked me out of the woods. He can do the same for you. Here is my psalm to the Lord.]
When my emotions drift I lose perspective. What at other times would seem trivial and small, now seems overwhelming.
It’s not just the loss of perspective with my circumstances, it’s the loss of perspective on how I’m doing. I begin to question every ability in every role: husband, father, pastor, friend…and yes Christ follower.
The thoughts come in like a flood and linger like a cloud of thick humidity over my mind….and there it is: the culprit….my mind.
I’m guilty of so much in this life, but none so debilitating as my habit of over thinking life.
It is for this reason that I allow you God to search my heart. When I search I’m tempted to hide myself in the lies that I find. I’m tempted avoid the very rooms that need your light, for to open and look at them would be too painful. I’d rather find a new, obvious room that I can deal with
However, when I ask you Jesus to wander the corridors of my heart with the master key of every room, you go to places that I wouldn’t dare go. You bring up what I wouldn’t bring up. You ask questions I wouldn’t ask.
Search me, oh God. Deal with me in your loving kindness. Thank you for the cross that has set me free. I set my mind and hope on you. You make all things new and surely I am one of your wild things that you’ve liberated from death into life.