Before I’m pastor anywhere, I’m the pastor of my home. Two of my most important congregants are right here under my roof…my two sons, Ethan and Landon (7 and8). As a “pastor dad” one of the most effective tools I employ in the nurturing of my boys are deliberate questions.
As a parent, questions can the very rope and harness you use to rappel down into the heart of your child. Not every answer will be a life shifting epiphany, but I can promise you gained insights that will never be uncovered if you don’t ask.
Here are 4 questions every parent should be asking their kids:
1. What was the best part of your day? Want to find out what lights your child up? What energizes them? This is the question to ask. You’ll hear stories of victory, their funniest moments and the best part about school lunch. This is a great opportunity to celebrate with them and just enjoy life.
2. What was the worst part of your day? Sounds like a downer I know, but they do have a “worst” part of their day. Don’t you want to know what it is? Shouldn’t they feel like they can share that with you? Many times when I’ve asked this question of my boys it’s revealed issues, fears, bullies and false perspectives my sons were walking around with and more. Armed with this knowledge I’m able to listen, teach and love them through it all.
3. What’s your favorite memory of us? Asking this question will tell you two truths: 1. What they truly desire from you (one on one time, your listening ear, etc. 2. That you’re doing something right. Let’s face it, kids aren’t always the most articulate when it comes to telling you when you’re hitting the mark as a parent.
4. What do you want to talk to God about? Here you’ll hear what their hearts of faith wonder about, what concerns them and how you can pray with them. You’ll find this opens up wonderful opportunities to share what God has already said to them in His word.
These questions are powerful when you give yourself time to ask them and when you ask them with consistency. Be present with your kids and ask.
What questions would you add to the list above? Share below.