Words from others that tear us down are painful to be sure. More often than not, however, it is the words we tell ourselves that wreak the most havoc.
The Secret to Having a Good Day
Have you ever thought about the phrase, “Have a good day” or “Have a great week”? We say it so flippantly, I wonder if we really know what we’re really saying. It’s as if we’re saying, “I hope your day or week goes just as you as you desire.” Except we know that rarely happens.
Listen to what God says about our days:
Psalm 139:16 (ESV)
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them.
Did you catch that? Not only did God form you….he formed your days. This is such a freeing thought. Now our days no longer have to measured by how good or bad our circumstances are each day. All of our days are good because HE has formed them.
God knows every challenge, hardship, blessing, valley and mountain top experience you’ll walk through on any given day. He knows because He’s already been there. Every day will be good because He’ll be there waiting just like He promised.
Enjoy this hand crafted day God has made for you!
(Your turn! I’d love to hear how you approach your day each morning! Share below.)
The Dark Side of Facebook
While I have found a ton of great benefits in using Facebook (connecting with people and leveraging influence), I have also found a few negatives to these Social Networking sites (Facebook, Twitter…etc.). Here are 3 Key Thoughts:
1. Self-expression overload: This generation highly values self-expression. Everyone seems to desire to have some type of artistic expression and universities are reporting exponential increase in communication majors. With that being said, do you think there is such a thing as too much disclosure? Is it dysfunctional to share EVERYTHING with EVERYONE?
2. Friendships Vs. Acquaintances: Here’s the deal we don’t really have 657 “friends”. Most of them are people we just know. A facebook friend is not always the same as an authentic relationship. Keep a good perspective on having quality over quantity in relationships. You don’t want to wake up one day and realize all your relationships are just surface depth.
3. Time Thief: When I first got on to facebook I spent a TON of time online. My family and work paid the price. Saying yes to being online means saying no to: someone else, your work, valued projects that you want to get done and much more. I think it’s a great tool, but not at the cost of friends, family and that of your legacy paying the price.
Bottom Line: Don’t let your desire to express and connect online overwhelm your desire to connect and express in person.
Are we still friends?
(Share your thoughts below and please share this post on facebook to spread the word.)
“You’re not the same person you once were. Others have recognized your growth. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same for someone else. Let them out of the box you’ve put them in.”
“Pride will always tempt us to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Don’t buy the lie. Jesus set us free to look up to Him instead of down on others.”
The Hardest Job of a Christian Parent
Remember as a kid your parents saying, “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you….” As a kid you wanted to say, “Really? Because it looks like my butt is the one getting spanked.” While there are varying ideas on disciplining out there, most parents agree that there is something within us that at times longs to not have to discipline our kids for several reasons:
1. Not wanting to feel rejected by our child
2. We Don’t want to be bothered with stopping what we are doing
3. There is an underlying frustration that what we’ve been doing isn’t working
4. We’d rather the verbal threat work without having to act
The reasons are many…..but the issue is the same. When we avoid disciplining our children out of our own issues (time, annoyance, our own insecurities, wanting to be the “cool” parent) we deny them the basic boundaries of life. These boundaries provide the basic framework for their future behavior. Our heavenly dad models this for each parent, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and chastises every son whom he receives.” Hebrews 12:6 (ESV)
Love and discipline are not mutually exclusive. If we love them we’ll make boundaries and hold them accountable. Bottom Line: Loving, direct discipline now means healthier adults later.
(Your turn! Take an opportunity to share your experience with your parents or even as a parent yourself in this area. Share and “like” this post if you found it helpful. Thanks!)
You’re Spilling and You Know It
I am nortoriously clumsy when it comes to eating. Sometimes I feel like I should wear a hazmat suit when I eat. When my family goes out to eat my wife will purposely bring an abundance of napkins to the table, not for my two boys mind you, but for me. It’s bad.
Spillers
Then there are others that are “spillers.” Drinks cannot stay upright in the presence of these folks. You know who they are and you choose your seat accordingly. Spiritually speaking we’re all spillers in life. Imagine your life as a cup. Your life cup holds the contents of where you are spiritually and emotionally. Whenever your cup is bumped in life by crisis, stress, discouragement, accusation, ridicule, rejection; what’s in your cup spills out.
If we’re plugged tightly into Jesus we’ll spill grace, flexibility, peace, and joy. If not, you might spill this toxic waste: rage, malice, envy, sarcasm, defensiveness, jealousy, anxiety…just plain drama. External circumstance and other’s actions do the bumping, but what comes out is what’s already in our cup. Instead of blaming people for our reactions we need to realize that others have nothing to do with it. 
Listen to how Jesus speaks to this:
Matthew 15:18–19 (ESV)
18 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
What comes out of our mouth is what is already in our heart. Here’s a redeeming truth: Jesus came to give us a new heart (a new cup). He longs to fill us up with himself. You can keep yourself topped off with Jesus by spending time with Him in solitude and studying His word.
I’d rather be spilling Jesus than myself any day. There’s no question that we’re going to spill in this life. The question is….what will we spill.
(Let me hear from you. What do you do when you realize you’ve had a toxic spill? Share below.)
Stop the Guilt Trips
I’m not a fan of guilt trips. This form of passive manipulation paves the road to hell. (OK, I admit that was a little dramatic, I’m just not a fan). We’ve all experienced guilt trips from people (parents are notorious) and we’ve all ended up doing things we didn’t want to do because of them. Maybe you’ve been on the giving end, laying on the heavy sighs and “if that’s how you feel” type statements.
People use guilt as a motivator in relationships when they aren’t getting what we want and don’t have the guts to say what they’re feeling. Here’s the truth: guilt trips are passive temper tantrums.
Listen to how Paul addresses this heart issue:
Philippians 2:4 (ESV)
4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Guilt trips are a passive way of continuing to “look after our own interests.” Serving others interests means at times we must give up our own.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. People in our lives are much more apt to respond to genuine communication even if that means voicing frustration and upsetting them. No more passive aggressive tactics. Let’s own our emotions and communicate them clearly.
After I spent all this time writing this post for you, surely you’d comment below and share this post with someone else. 
2 Steps Toward an Epic Prayer Life
If you believe prayer is important raise your hand. Yeah….pretty much every hand just went up. (You can put your hand down now.) Now, if you have a dynamic prayer life raise your hand…….I’m noticing a lot less hands on that one.
Here’s the top 2 Reasons people give me for why people say their prayer life stinks:
1. Not Enough Time
2. I Just Don’t Know How
Sound familiar?
Here are two easy steps that can help you take your prayer life from being non-existent to thriving.
1. Do the time: Let me be the guy who blatantly rings the “That’s a Bunch of Junk” bell. You DO have time to pray you just need to be intentional about making it happen. Schedule some time: morning, afternoon, evening, driving, walking, riding, whatever. Do this: Start out with setting aside just 5 minutes and grow from there. You can rock out some meaningful prayer in 5 minutes. Here’s how.
2. Discover a Road Map: Prayer gets left on the sidelines because people feel like they have no idea what they should be praying about. Here’s a simple acronym A.C.T.S to get you started. You can break this out over 5 minutes and still have a moving time of prayer.
- Adoration: Start out your prayer time by telling God how great He is! Think about adjectives that comes to mind that describe His awesomeness. (yes I just used “awesomeness”) His love, power, wisdom, faithfulness, grace, patience, tenderness, guiding hand….the list goes on. (Psalm 96 is a good start)
- Confession: Knowing as a Christian that your sin has been taken care of on the cross you can go into God’s presence boldly and confess where you feel like your life and attitude might have gone astray. This is repentance (turning our lives away from our sin and setting our eyes back on Jesus. Be honest. He already knows. He’s a loving Dad waiting for you. (1 John 1:9)
- Thanksgiving: This is when you’re going to break out the big guns of gratitude. Spend some time thanking God for anything that comes to mind: family, friends, health, provision, guidance, healing, growth, his promises. Scripture states that “every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father.” Thank Him for those gifts. (James 1:17)
- Supplication: This is just a $5 word for your prayer needs. This is your opportunity to bring those issues and circumstances that are weighing on you: Emotional stress, need for healing, financial provision, needing wisdom for a upcoming decision….it could be anything. Make it a point to pray for other’s needs here as well. (Phil 4:6)
- REST: After you’ve walked through this road map of prayer….stop. Rest in God’s presence and the peace of knowing that God not only hears you but He’s also moving on your behalf. Listen to what He now wants to say to you. “Be Still and Know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
Seize this time to grow in your prayer life. Jesus made a way through the cross that we could come to God in prayer. Let’s take full advantage. He’s waiting.
(What are some struggles and/or solutions you’ve experienced in getting your prayer life off the ground? Share below.)
Shut Your Mouth and Listen
Pet Peeve Alert: Those people that talk about themselves incessantly.
Recently I had a chance to catch up with a friend from the past. It would have been a pleasant conversation had it not been for the fact that my friend talked the entire time and then “shockingly” had to go.
There was a trite “how’s the family?”, but you could tell it was meaningless. You could tell there wasn’t a genuine desire to know how I or my family really were.
But, here’s the truth I’ve been guilty at times of dominating conversations with stories as well. Here is a test for all of us: Next time you are sharing a story with someone and you are interrupted by something, see if people ask you to finish your thought. If they don’t, there’s your sign.
Bottom line: It’s not just about asking the right questions in a conversation. It’s about genuinely wanting to know the answers. Don’t just talk to me…listen to me.
(Your Turn! What’s your top pet peeve? What annoying habits have you grown out? Share below.)
