#009 Taking Criticism Like a Champ [Podcast]

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In this episode we look at 5 principles that can help us recieve and process criticism well.

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You are fired!

Show Notes:

1. Don’t get defensive

2. Ask yourself this Question: “Is there ANY truth to what’s being shared?”

3. Make adjustments

4. Move Forward

5. Value the Relationship

Hero Question:

“I’m currently working for an absolute jerk at work. He’s made a job I once loved into one I now hate. It’s affecting my attitude toward my wife and kids and I know it’s showing in my work. HELP!”

Ephesians 6:5–8 (ESV)

5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.  

Here’s some time transcending truths for a Christian serving others in the home, workplace or church:

1. Obey those that are in leadership over you as you would Jesus. < Notice the period. (vs. 5)

2. Don’t just do a good job when people are watching or just to please people. Do your work from the heart!

3. Do everything as if you were doing it for God himself. (vs. 7)

4. God will reward our faithful service to others. (vs. 8)
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One Warning About Success

We shouldn’t fear success, but we should fear our reaction to it. It is well known that we readily put our complete dependance on God in the valley. It’s on the mountain top, in the warmth of the sun that the temptation to become strong in our own eyes and pull away from God is very real. We can quickly forget who brought us to the dance and leave with another….ourselves.

To overcome this we must cling to the Lord every day in his word and in prayer. True, this thought is unoriginal, but we only need to look at the boneyard of those that have shipwrecked their faith to know He is our only hope.

 

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#008 Men and Shame [Podcast]

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In this episode I share how shame shows itself in the lives of men and how God can bring freedom.

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men and shame

Show Notes:

Check out episode 1: “Why Porn is Ruining Your Sex Life”

Signs of Shame:

1. You Can’t Look at God

2. You Can’t Look at Others

3. You Want Others to Fix You

4. You Feel Chained to Your Past

5. You Have a Broken Mirror of Self

Hero Question:

“How Can I speak into my kids lives in a meaningful, and creative way?”

Letters From Dad by Greg Vaughn

An Open Letter to My Boys

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#007 Men and Anger [Podcast]

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In this episode, I interview pastor and author, Lennon Noland on the issue of Anger and how it wreaks havoc in the lives of men and their families.

Men and Anger

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Show Notes:

1. Angry Words

2. Angry Actions

3. Angry Thoughts

Remember:

“The only way to deal positively with anger in the future is ask God to help us to become forgiving men today.”

1. OVERLOOK OFFENSE

Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Ecc. 7:21-22 Don’t pay attention to everything people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you, 22 for you know that many times you yourself have cursed others.

2. TRUST GOD TO AVENGE

Romans 12:19 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God’s] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.

God is the only one who can repay fairly without becoming like the person who did the wrong in the first place. 

Enjoy Lennon’s content? You can connect with Lennon on his blog at www.LennonNoland.com

Let me hear from you. What would you add to this discussion on anger? Share below!

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5 Ways to Fill Your Wife’s Emotional Tank

As a husband I know what it is to “not show up” in marriage when it comes to meeting my wife’s emotional needs. Like the gasps of a gurgiling straw that finds it’s cup empty, my wife has known seasons when she was starving emotionally because I was simply emotionally unavailable and uninvested.

For much of that time I was more concerned about me: “my needs”, “my dreams”, “my goals”, “my time”….me, me, me.

Learn from me here. Don’t be that guy.5 Ways to fuel Your Wife's Emotional Tank

I’d like to give you five thoughts to keep in mind that will help you fill your wife’s emotional tank:

1. Sharing is Caring: One of the greatest ways our wives feel connected with us is when they feel they’re being heard and when they sense that they’re hearing from the real us. For many men, communication in marriage consists of simply letting their wife talk while they drift in and out of the conversation with “uh huh’s” and “yeahs”. You’re not fooling her.

Communication is a two way street. To cultivate true intimacy in your marriage there has to be mutual intimacy. Let me encourage you to be proactive in seizing these moments. Put down the cell phone and the remote. Grab a spot at the kitchen table or on the couch and connect. Don’t worry if you feel like you don’t have much to share. Just be fully present: ask follow up questions and dig deeper into her thoughts. She needs this and whether you know it or not…you do to0.

2. Do the Woo: Date your wife. One of the most powerful ways to bring life to your marriage is just to get out of the house together. This doesn’t have to be expensive, just hang out. Make it a goal to try and take your wife on atleast two dates a month. Some months will be easier than others to make this happen, but unless you make t his a priority this will never happen. Also, make it a point to take care of all the details if childcare or reservations are needed. This tells her, “This is important to me!”

3. Make Room for Her Gifts: I’m sure you have a good idea of what your gifts and talents are. Do you know your wife’s giftings? Let me encourage you to allow her to shine in what she does best. For instance, my wife is a wonderful nurse. She felt a drawing to this field several years ago. At first I was leary of her starting school and all that it would mean to the boys and I. However, I saw her eyes light up when she talked about it and begin to see how it would be a perfect fit for her gift mix of the practical care of people. I could have drug my feet and stiffled her dream, but I let her run and I’m so glad I did. She’s an amazing nurse who is bringing fantastic care to babies and families in desperate need. Let your wife shine in her gifting and then make it a point to brag on her gifts in public. Show her you see her God given gifts.

4. Learn another language: Find out your wife’s love language. Check out a recent podcast I did on this here.

5. Crash Well: Disagreements in marriage are unavoidable. It’s how we weather them that’s the key. As husbands we must cultivate a safe place for disagreement in our marriages. We can do this by doing the following: not yelling, not belittling our wives or calling them names, not leaving abruptly from a conversation, not shutting down and giving them the “silent treatment”, by actively listening to their heart behind what they’re saying, and beleiving the best about our wives. If we can learn to recover well from disagreements we’ll bring much comfort and maturity to our marriage and build credibility in the process.

One last thought. If you had a dashboard on the console of your marriage, where would the needle be on your wife’s emotional fuel tank. Be honest. If you have no idea, it might be a good time to ask her.

Be humble and courageous. She’s worth it.

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#006 Developing Deep Friendships [Podcast]

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You absolutely need deep friendships in your life. In this episode we look at how we can cultivate these friendships that matter in our lives.

Friendship

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Show Notes:

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

The 5 Pillars to Developing Deep Friendships

1. Be Praying

2. Be Who You’re Looking For

3. Make the time

4. Get in the room

5. Get Real

Hero Question:

“I recently blew it in my marriage big time! I don’t want to lose my wife and I’m trying to rebuild trust with her with everything I have. What can I do to help this along?”
Do this:

1. Own it.

2. Be an open book.

3. Don’t make her think she’s crazy. 

4. Find accountability. 

5. Give it time. 

6. Stay hopeful.

Let me hear from you! What would you add? What did I miss? What’s impacting you? Share below!

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